Saturday, June 03, 2006

Friday Night Fever

Last night, I did something I hadn't done for a while. I went out for drinks. By myself. Kind of. Lannie, Ivy's 20-year-old niece, mentioned that she was gonna go bar-hopping with her boyfriend and some and some of her girlfriends. She also said that I was welcome to join. I didn't say anything at the time.

I was totally unsure about going. I couldn't really picture myself hanging around with peeps 10 years younger than me. It seemd kinda awkward. In the end, I said 'screw it' and decided to go.

The night was so complex, that it deserves three Acts. Here we go:


ACT ONE:


I arrived at the bar, which was totally packed. I started looking for Lannie and found Valy instead. I think I've mentioned Valy before, but I allow me a moment to tell you a little more about me and her.

I've known Valy for a few years now. My sister mentioned she had some sort of crush on me at the beginning -and she is quite the cutie- but two things prevented anthing from happening. First of all, I was in a relationship. On top of that, she was my sister Abby 's friend, and my sister is famous for disliking any advances made toward her friends. So nothing happened. All we had was a bit of flirting from time to time.

Finding myself in the singles' scene once more, I felt it was time to see if anything could happen between Valy and me. However, it started to feel like all she did was toy with me. So much so that I decided to cut her off from my life completely. I erased her phone number and email from my address book, and deleted her from my IM client.

So, I hadn't spoken to Valy for about a month until I ran into her at the bar. She seemed totally excited to see me, and even left her friends to come over to talk to me. I kid you not, we were standing about six inches from each other. I felt some really cool vibes going on. There was playful punching and stuff. She kept insisting we should have lunch together next week. But just when I was totally sure I was getting somewhere, she said, 'I've just started going out with somebody. I'm so happy!!'

Well that felt like a bucket of chilly water had been dumped on my head. I tried somewhat unsuccesfully to conceal my embarrasment. She still mentioned something about me being invited to join her and her friends at their table. I thanked her and exited the bar as soon as she was out of sight.

I remember thinking how my night had been ruined in less than five minutes.


ACT TWO:


After walking a good while, I finally found Lannie and her friends at another bar. Apparently they had decided to switch venues after the first one was totally packed. They asked me to join them at their table. And then, something funny happened. She introduced me as... her uncle.

I must explain something here. Although a few times I've referred to Lannie as 'my niece', I must admit to some sort of incestuous feelings towards her. Yeah, the most moronic, retarded side of me kept hoping that she and I could eventually become an item. After all, she is one of the hottest, cutest and nicest girls I know. Of course, this was totally unthinkable back when Ivy was around, but now it seemed as something that could in fact happen someday. Of course, she'd have to forget that I was about to become her uncle, she'd have to not mind the fact that I'm 10 years older than her, and she'd have to settle for a lot less than her usual pick of boyfriends: rich and handsome.

Absurd as it was, that fantasy was very dear to me. It made me believe that somebody as gorgeous and nice as her could even consider me as a suitable mate.

But all that went out the window when she introduced me as HER UNCLE. A relative. And you don't go out with relatives. They just don't exist. They might as well be gay.
Crap.


ACT THREE:


As I was sitting amongst a table full of youngsters, I managed to catch a glimpse of a girl sitting on the restaurant across the street. It was Olly. I decided to go say hi. But then, as I was approaching her, I noticed she wasn't alone. A really huge and well dressed man had taken the empty chair at the table. Boy, that was awkward.

EPILOGUE:


I think I'll have to wait till my ego grows back before attempting to go out again.
It could be a while.

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