I need to become eye candy

I hate being single. Sure, I have lots of time and money to myself, but I'm lonely as heck, and I miss simple stuff like holding somebody really close. I wanna love and be loved. But, as with so many things I want with in life, I have done nothing to achieve that goal. I'm still as fat as ever, and I still look like I was just mugged five minutes ago. Grooming goes a long way, they tell me. My dad never had any of my troubles. He was an athlete. He was a snappy dresser. He always looked good.