Let's talk about porn

In this post, we'll talk about pornography. It had to happen. I'm not surprised I ended up talking about it, just amazed that it didn't come up as a topic earlier. Relax, we'll deal with the subject matter tastefully.

I just want to talk about how funny porn can be.

First of all, porn happens in an alternate universe, where all the women are ultra horny, even more so than the men. A couple can meet for the first time and five minutes later, they're ready to do the nasty. Which they do. Several times.

Women? Horny as hell? Laughing already.

Men have monstrous beings akin to anacondas in their pants. They are always ready. Always. I can only imagine the poor fellas have to wear special clothes to fit those... things. And they can last ridiculously long times. Ten, fifteen-minute erections are nothing to the guys.

Fifteen minutes? C'mon. That's funny right there.

The positions are certainly different. In order to allow the camera to 'get in there', the players have to assume several unorthodox ways of copulation. I won't go into details, but they're pretty acrobatic. Even uncomfortable, I can imagine.

Next, a few hilarious happenings from the land of porn.

-Two words: group sex. It can happen to you. Anywhere.

-Women wearing shoes during sex. I've never quite assimilated that. It's a very kinky thing, and you see it so much that you almost expect it nowdays. However, despite the fact that that shoes make women with ugly feet look good on camera, it's still weird.

I could keep talking about porn way more than I should, but here it is, in short: porn is funny because it's totally surreal. It's a window to a world free from inhibitions and society standards. A place where logic, and intellect are subdued by passion and 'getting it on'. Where even the dorkiest, ugliest kid can be a king if he has a big shlong.

Dammit, I want to live there.