Sad stories suck

SPOILER ALERT: In this post I will talk about the plots of two movies. Don't read on if you dislike being told how a movie is gonna end.
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I don't really like sad stories. I like to avoid them as much as possible. But sometimes they come at you out of nowhere.

There's this very talented young lady down at YouTube, who calls herself Joyride13. She makes little videos where she sings like an angel. One of such vids was a cover of Only Hope, which happens to be a song that Mandy Moore sings in the 2002 film A Walk To Remember. Curious as I am, I headed to Wikipedia to know more about the film. Here's the short version: Boy meets girl, they fall in love, girl gets sick, boy and girl get married, girl dies.

Why does it sound so familiar? Oh yeah, because that's my story.

By now, you probably know that I lost my fiancee Ivy almost a year ago to a terminal illness. So this kind of stories really get to me. Really.

Back in 2001, Ivy and I went to see Sweet November, which has pretty much the exact same plot as the aforemented picture. I already knew by then that Ivy was really sick, but I hoped that the illness would be controlled and she could lead a normal life. Her whole illness had me worried, but I tried to bury it down within.

However, seeing Charlize Theron get sicker and sicker onscreen was too much to bear. I had a sudden flash of myself in the Keanu role, staring Death in the face. All my fear, all my anguish, everything that I had managed to repress came out through my tearducts in an efervesent manner. I had to step out of the theater, to sob my heart out. When I came back, Ivy asked me what was wrong, and I just made up some stupid thing to cover it up. I mean, I wasn't about to tell her, 'I am really afraid that you may die on me.'

As I was reading the synopsis for A Walk To Remember, I was overcome with sorrow and pain in less than a second. Before I could realize it, I was sobbing again. Personally, I find it amazing how a few words had such an impact upon me. I mean, with Sweet November, I was seeing it on the screen. But this was just reading. I guess the difference is that I now have some deeply embedded imagery inside of me, which the words managed to stir up.

I guess what really moved me was the fact that Mandy Moore's character knew she was gonna die, and had made a To Do list, which was fulfilled by her loved one, played by Shane West. The last item on her list? Getting married, which they did shortely before she passed away.

Ivy wanted to get married too. She wanted to have kids. But I couldn't give any of that to her. We just didn't have enough time. We just... didn't.

I'm sorry, baby. I really am. Please forgive me.