Saturday, August 14, 2004

Time sure flies when you're busy!

I could swear I posted in here just yesterday, but as the date shows, it’s been a whole week!!
Have my fans deserted me?? Do the still care about my hijinks???

Hello?

A N Y B O D Y ?

Saturday, August 07, 2004

Hmmph!!

The blog-by-mail thingie is not working!!
Sent two entries twice and none got thru.

I think I'll copy-paste them.
Not the best, but it'll have to do if I want those posts online as fast as possible.

Can't keep the fans waiting!!

Worst... headache...ever.

This is a follow-up to my insane posting session at 3AM on a Monday.
That kind of thing always has consequences. Damn, these were harsh.

For a while, though, I thought I had gotten off scot free. I just felt a bit tired throughout the morning. I got off work, went to my very first class of the semester, when...WHAAAM!!!

The biggest crushing migrane headache ever fell upon me. I swear my head felt like it was in a vise, with somebody screwing the damned thing tighter and tighter. After a while, I couldn’t even see properly with my right eye.

Being in the farthest corner of campus, the closest extra-strength aspirin was at least half a mile away. So I had three choices:

  • Run like heck across two parking lots with a mangled equilibrium and just one good eye
  • Cry like a baby
  • Tuff it out

I chose the latter, for I thought a good dose of machismo would do me good. In retrospective, it was the best choice, but it sure didn’t feel like it when I was holding my face with my hands, trying to muffle the pain and pay attention at the same time. I remember my teacher tried not to look at me funny, but was crassly unsuccessful.

100% understandable.

So, I’ve learned my lesson: no more staying up till 3 AM just to blog.

Starting tomorrow night.

Back on the saddle

I am an official college student... Once again.

Yes, I’m giving this “get your godforsaken College Degree” thing one more go.

It’s not easy. I had a very traumatic academic experience two years ago, and haven’t been back since.
In case you’re wondering, I flunked my final exam. Horribly. Was completely unprepared, and paid for it hard. Plus my evaluation board was totally against me.

Reasons notwithstanding, I am back now and that’s what counts.

But it’s gonna be tricky.
The class is called Portfolio. But don’t be deceived by the innocuous name. It is actually three classes bundled into one:
  • Research (We have to do a design essay on a topic of our choosing)
  • Strategy (We have to do a design project following a procedure called ‘Creative Strategy H’)
  • Portfolio (As the name suggests, it is a collection of our best design work)

As you see, it’s not just one class, now is it??

As if that wasn’t a handful, I get the distinct feeling that the faculty knows not what it is doing. You see, this is the first time such a class is being given. Ever. It is supposed to be an improvement over the old system. I don’t see how cramming a whole year’s worth of work in just one semester is so much better. Time will tell.

I’m stressed and anxious all the time, afraid I won’t be able to cope. I don’t want to fail. I don’t want to let down all the people who believe in me. I can’t let myself down. I have to get that title.

On another note, it sucks having classmates five years younger than me. The first day, everybody kept adressing me as if I were another teacher. It was until after a while that they realised that I was just another student like them.

I feel outdated, I feel obsolete. I keep questioning myself: Is my work good enough? Am I good enough??


I want my mommy.

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

My tummy aches...

Yeah, got the tummy blues goin' in my belly. I dunno what could've brought this upon me, but I can be 100% certain it DIDN'T come from underfeeding.
It feels like I ate the world last weekend...

Now, my stomach feels bloated and it rumbles like a Harley.
Yes, I will stop before the disgusting details come up.

But my ailment will not last long. I got the world's best nurses at my side: Ivy, my mom and my granny.

Mayo Clinic, eat your heart out!

The Gazette is dead! Long live the Gazette!!

Yeah, Gazette No.2 is done!!
As forecasted, the darned book got delievered on Friday.
Now, work has started on Gazette 3: Son of the Gazette.
So far, it seems that it’ll be twice as big as its predecesor.

Hurray?

Monday, August 02, 2004

I am insane

It's THREE IN THE MORNING and I'm here blogging!!

Tomorrow is gonna be such a long day.

Enter the gringo

I have a friend called Van. He’s a fully certified gringo. Got papers and everything to prove it.  

I met him two years ago, while he was visiting my country as a tourist, and we’ve kept in contact ever since.

Two weeks ago, he dropped by on a business trip, so I went to see him at his hotel. I go up to his room and out he comes, gives me a big hug on the doorway and then SLAM! the door closed behind him. Two minutes with the guy and I already got him locked out of his room!!!

The day before he was due back, we met in Antique City, a very beautiful Kzanderallian city just 20 miles from the capital. We talked and had dinner with an Aussie girl he had just met. It was a very delightful time, specially since Van picked up the bill at the end.

Then we proceeded to stroll up and down Antique’s streets, while chatting all the time. I love talking to Van for two reasons:
  • I get to practice my crummy English.
  • He’s one of the most intelligent people I know, so I can bring up any subject and he can discuss it fluently.
  • He’s funny as heck. (Ok, that was three reasons. I can’t count)

We got tired of walking, so we ended up in an Arabian-themed bar. Aussie Girl wanted to check out the place. We sat down and ordered an arguileh, which is a funky Arabic water pipe they have, filled with fruit-flavored tobacco. Four people on a nearby table were making a helluva noise, so I turned around and recognized one guy: Diego. I explained to Van and Aussie that Diego is a big male model here in Kzanderallia. Van turned to me and whispered, “Geez, look at their socks!!”. One of the guys and one of the girls of Diego’s group had exchanged footware, so each had a white sock and a cyan sock. It was hilarious. Oh, the glamour of the fashion crowd.

After a while of sipping the arguileh, we got tipsy and started talking out loud and acting like big clowns. Diego and his comrades found us unsettling, so they left to find a more refined establishment. The waiter was also displeased at us, and was extremely rude. So we got out as well.

All the way back to his hotel, Van kept glancing at the ads on the street. Whenever he saw one with male models on it, he stopped cold and asked out loud, “Wait. IS THAT DIEGO??”

How can you not love a guy like that?


The cops suck (Surprise, surprise)

My cousin was driving with his girlfriend last month when he got stopped by some cops.

But, they were crooked cops and proceeded to rob him. They threatened to do bad things to the girl if they refused. So my cuz handed out all of his cash, his cell phone, his watch and assorted items that were on the car. My cuz’s girl was freaked, but he kept his cool and was even able to talk them into letting him keep his car radio and, most importantly, his car.

Thankfully, they came out of the ordeal with nothing but big scare. The poor kids.

Goes to show you the practicality of life in Kzanderallia. Crime and law enforcement, bundled up in just one place. How convenient!!

Next time some cops try to stop me, I think I’ll run like heck.

Son of the beach

My girlfriend Ivy turned 27 last Saturday. So her folks decided to take her, my sister-in-law and me to the beach.
The trip was uneventful. We got to a resort and headed to the pool area.

We swam a bit, then Ivy and me went to the beach. The sea was quite wild, so we didn’t go far into the water, just waist level. We got wet and headed back.

The pricey admission ticket entitled us to have food all day long, and we did. I ate so much that I got a bit sleepy, and so did everyone except Ivy. She got mad ‘cause all of us wanted to lie down while she wanted to play in the pool. “Swimming is no fun if I have to do it by myself”, she complained. I concluded that nobody should have to play by themselves on their birthday. So I made an effort and got myself into the water. Once there, I felt less heavy and sleepy, so we were able to have some fun times there. Guess the “you should not swim two hours after eating” rule doesn’t always apply.

So the day was over, and we had to get into some dry clothes.

At this point I should say that I don’t like locker rooms. I’m not too comfortable being naked with other people. Yes, I’m a nudiephobe. So there, I’ve said it. But I’ve found ways around that. I concienciously try to block out the nakedness and just proceed with maximum efficiency to shower, change or do whatever I’m supposed to do in a locker room.

My father-in-law isn’t as squeamish as me. So when he was having some trouble unfastening some strap on his wrist, he found it totally logic to come up to me and ask for my help. The fact that he was only wearing slippers at the time didn’t bother him at all. So I got to see my girlfriend’s dad in the nude, up close. I focused on the strap and nothing else. I was able to undo the knot in record time and each of us got back to our own dressing affairs.

I can say with full confidence that I will never forget this trip for as long as I live.

Friday, July 30, 2004

Cross your fingers!!

I think we may have finally finished the (insert pejorative word here) Gazzete.
One book of it, anyway. (There’s still four more to go.)

We are giving it a last check today. Hopefully, no more mistakes will be found.

We have to hand it this very day so it gets printed, and we hope to have it ready by mid morning.

If we get to pull this off, the town will definitely get painted red tonight.

Don't think so!

I don't know if I've said this before, but I've been thinking about telling friends and family about my blong... I mean, blog.

The logic behind this idea is that by showing everybody my writings, they'll understand me better, and love me more. On the other hand, they may not like what I’ve written about them so far, or they may not like being written about whatsoever. They may also start wondering, “Will this creep be writing about THIS on his blog?? And what about THAT? Will he write about it too??

Again, maybe noting will happen at all.  

But have I the guts to chance it??

It's official: it sucks even more!

One of the few perks available at Lexcorp was the email:

  • No inbox limit
  • Mails could be up to 8 megs in size
  • You could attach any kind of file (except *.EXE)

It was pretty damn cool. I could send drawings, and pictures, and lots of stuff. I used it to keep in touch with friends and family.  

No more.

Effective this past Monday, you can only send Word, Excel or PDF files. And all mail gets screened so every word is work-related. Any infractions may result in sanctions or outright dismissal.

This means there’ll be no more updating this blog from work.

Not that Lexcorp was Paradise to begin with, but dammit, now it REALLY blows.

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

An evening with Fido

As part of the massive global re-launching of Fido Dido as 7UP’s spokeperson, there was this contest called Draw Your Inner Fido. Contestants were supposed to come up with some ‘Fido-sophy’ of their own and draw Fido acting it out.

In case you didn’t know, Fido-sophy is a term coined by the 7UP Company, and it basically refers to some superficial, non-compromising, quick-fix, clichéd way of living life, like:
  • It’s cool to be yourself
  • Normal is boring
  • You are who you are and who you are is OK.
  • Dare to be different
  • Life is short, live it.

The contest seemed easy enough, so I decided to give it a try.

I must say, the drawing was the easy part. Coming up with some sufficiently simplistic, thoroughly bland bit of doctrine was tougher. Took me hours. I ended up with ‘Live life at your own beat. Not so bad, huh?

So I handed out my work and the wait started. Then, on the day of the awards, I get this call at work. It’s the Fido Contest people and they tell me I am amongst the 10 finalists. SWEET!!
 
I arrived at the place with my parents and my girlfriend on tow. The award ceremony was held at a place called ‘Fido’s Place’, and it’s a third-floor loft splattered with Fido stuff all over. There’s Fido murals, Fido floor motifs, there’s even a Fido statue, life-size. And of course, all the contestants’ work was displayed in big panels.

I wanted to take pictures of everything, but my camera was at the shop. Unfortunately, it remains true that if I ever neglect to bring a camera, nobody else brings one. And so, no photos were taken on my behalf, which made the photomaniac in me very upset. My only hope are the news photographers that were fluttering all over.

I check out the rest of the contest entries. Some are really bad, but some are REALLY good. I’m a nervous wreck.

The event starts about fifty minutes late. We have been some free 7UP, but no amount of soda can make you forget the fact that you’ve been waiting in line for about an hour.

As expected, the whole ceremony is a big 7UP commercial: people from the advertising company step up, and show us some TV ads. The they proceed to talk about Fido, about how he started, what his personality is like, etc, etc. At one moment, they bring out Fido’s creator, Johanna Ferrone. She tells us how thrilled she is that Fido got picked up again as the 7UP spokesperson. “Fido and I have been together for 20 years”, she said. “That’s the longest relationship I’ve ever had.” She’s funny and sweet, but she is grossly mistranslated. Those of us who speak English can only quiver at the things Ferrone’s interpreter is saying.

Finally, the awards are given out. They begin with the Honorable Mentions. They call out a couple of guys, then me. Although deeply disappointed, I put up a brave face and step up. They give a fantabulous piece of cardboard with my name scribbled on it. And Johanna Ferrone says some vague kind words about my drawing. She’s so nice, she can’t be a real New Yorker. No way.

I was feeling kinda OK at this point. I hadn’t won, but at least I had beat about 50 competitors. My folks and my girl are proud of me. Then... they call the next Honorable Mention winner. It’s an 8-year-old kid!!! Apparently, the jurors were impressed by the fact that someone so young would want to participate. Plus, he wrote a very moving letter declaring his love of Fido. That’s all fine and good, but what this means is that I’m drawing at third grade level!! At least I don’t eat my crayons anymore. Not so much, anyway.

A while later, the other awards are called out. These are the big guns: they get cash prizes and their designs get slapped on billboards and bus-stop signs. And the ceremony is over. We are cordially invited to vacate the premises.

It’s a big pill to swallow, pride. You see, I was so sure I had a chance at third place... I had even spent all the award money in my head!  Thankfully, my girlfriend was there to hug me tight, give me a big kiss and nurse my wounded ego back to health.

Friday, July 23, 2004

I'm beat

Last night, I had to stay up till 2 AM.

Stupid college.  

 

You see, my university went fully online about four years ago. This was a nice improvement to the previous method. Before, you had to drive down there, fill up a form and wait in line till you got to the inscription booth. This could take hours and it was annoying as heck.

 

Nowdays, you can register right from the commodity of your own home, using the university's website. Nice, right?

 

It's very convenient if there is just one section, or if you don't care who is giving the class. But sometimes you may want to get yourself into a specific class with a certain teacher. And that's when things get complicated.

 

If you're in a picky mood, you must get in early 'cause classes fill up fast. Unfortunately, the inscription periods open at midnight. So you must really be interested in the choice of teachers available.

 

Generally, I wouldn't care too much about who was teaching, but not this time. You see, it's not that I wanted certain teacher to give the class: rather, I wanted a certain teacher NOT to give me the class.

 

So there I was, sitting in front of my computer, waiting for the clock to strike 12. I logged in, got into my user section and attempted to get into the class. It didn't work. A cold sweat came all over me.  Had I done something wrong? What if I had neglected some procedure at some point??

 

In short, it took me about forty minutes to get everything worked out. By the time I logged out and headed to bed, it was about 2 AM. As you can imagine, four hours' sleep is hardly refreshing. Almost as bad as no sleep at all. Almost.

 

Need I say how hard it was getting out of bed this morning?

 

Man, I am sooo tired. My eyes are all sore and my whole body feels like I got hit with a ton of bricks. And my mood is... well, suffice it to say that a female coworker told me I was the first case of male PMS she had ever seen.

 

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

It's getting hot in herre!!

Just when I thought I was out of the furnace, back in I go again.

 

It's official: the weather in Kzanderallia has gone back to torrid.

 

Actually, it never stopped being that way. I had high hopes that the rains would cool down this boiling pot of a country. But the precipitation rates so far have been minimal, and so, the overall effect has been nonexistent.

 

So now, on top of the unbearable heat, you have to lug an umbrella around, because you never know when the rain is gonna hit.

 

Such is life in the tropics.

LIVE from Lexcorp!!

Yes, I know I said I wouldn't write from here anymore.

 

Blog entries done in Lexcorp are incredibly code-ridden and you never really know how they'll come out until they're published. Also, editing them can be quite the chore.

 

But, I must. I've been neglecting my blog too long, and I know that if keep putting it off, then I'll probably stop bloggin' altogether. And I don't want that to happen.

 

Having a blog is cool for several reasons. To me, it's like freeze-framing life. You get to archive and share all your thoughts and anecdotes before they're lost to oblivion.   

 

I can almost see it: future generations will be able to browse thru my blog, get a glimpse of my life in Kzanderallia in 2004, read all my deepest meditations... and wonder why I wasn't ever institutionalized.

Friday, July 16, 2004

Ok, now THAT was a bad idea

So content have I been to with the “blog-by-mail” feature, that I tried the unthinkable:
I posted from Lexcorp.

Did it work? You be the judge. Look at most of the posts made on the 15th. See anything different??

The type is smaller. But it’s not just that. There was an array of errors in each post which took an enormous time to fix. Extra characters and stuff like that. And you can’t see it, but each post has about half a page of this:  

!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:DoNotRelyOnCSS/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:SpellingState>Clean</w:SpellingState> <w:GrammarState>Clean</w:GrammarState> <w:DocumentKind>DocumentEmail</w:DocumentKind> <w:HyphenationZone>21</w:HyphenationZone> <w:EnvelopeVis/> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--> <style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} @font-face {font-family:"Trebuchet MS"; panose-1:2 11 6 3 2 2 2 2 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:7 0 0 0 19 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0cm; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} a:link, span.MsoHyperlink {color:blue; text-decoration:underline; text-underline:single;} a:visited, span.MsoHyperlinkFollowed {color:purple; text-decoration:underline; text-underline:single;}

Although invisible, all this useless coding could build up and slow down a browser to a crawl.

No wonder nobody does pages in MS Office.

I CAN READ!!

Recently, I've rediscovered reading... REAL reading.
The kind you do with books.

I'm thrilled. This is so much better than reading magazines, which is pretty much what I'd been reading for the past 10 months.
Magazines are OK for a while, but the brain eventually needs something solid, something like... literature.

Why hadn't I been reading before? Good question.

You see, I thought I didn't have time, that books were just too long, but I was wrong. The secret is to read a bit here, a bit there...just what you can handle at a time. Before you realize it, the book is finished and you're looking for another. Personally, I try to read at least half an hour each day.

Right now, I'm finishing off a collection of short tales by Isaac Asimov.

This is what I've read so far:

  • The Tunnel, by Ernesto Sábato
  • The Metamorphosis, by Franz Kafka

Ok, so it's not such a long list, but... what did ya expect??
I've been on the reading wagon for only a couple of months.

UP NEXT: 1984, by George Orwell. I've seen the Apple ad, now I'll try the book!

Thursday, July 15, 2004

I'm still a designer, right?

Lexcorp is wasting my valuable talents with unproductive chores.

 

I'm a D-E-S-I-G-N-E-R, for cripes's sake. Says so in my job description. Therefore, I should be designing stuff.

 

Instead, all I do is type in MS Word the whole day. Yes, I'm still doing the Lexcorp Gazette. In case you skipped previous entries, the Gazette is 1000 pages long and it spreads over four volumes. It's 100% solid text. The content is totally lame corporate stuff.  

 

All the designing I get to do right now is using the space between characters and the leading in creative ways just so that the material fits into a page nicely. It's so tiresome, so repetitive, so... boring.

 

And the work is far from over. After I finish this book, I'll still have five more to go.  Hooray.

 

 

All work and no play makes KZ a dull boy...