Yes, I’m giving this “get your godforsaken College Degree” thing one more go.
It’s not easy. I had a very traumatic academic experience two years ago, and haven’t been back since.
In case you’re wondering, I flunked my final exam. Horribly. Was completely unprepared, and paid for it hard. Plus my evaluation board was totally against me.
Reasons notwithstanding, I am back now and that’s what counts.
But it’s gonna be tricky.
The class is called Portfolio. But don’t be deceived by the innocuous name. It is actually three classes bundled into one:
- Research (We have to do a design essay on a topic of our choosing)
- Strategy (We have to do a design project following a procedure called ‘Creative Strategy H’)
- Portfolio (As the name suggests, it is a collection of our best design work)
As you see, it’s not just one class, now is it??
As if that wasn’t a handful, I get the distinct feeling that the faculty knows not what it is doing. You see, this is the first time such a class is being given. Ever. It is supposed to be an improvement over the old system. I don’t see how cramming a whole year’s worth of work in just one semester is so much better. Time will tell.
I’m stressed and anxious all the time, afraid I won’t be able to cope. I don’t want to fail. I don’t want to let down all the people who believe in me. I can’t let myself down. I have to get that title.
On another note, it sucks having classmates five years younger than me. The first day, everybody kept adressing me as if I were another teacher. It was until after a while that they realised that I was just another student like them.
I feel outdated, I feel obsolete. I keep questioning myself: Is my work good enough? Am I good enough??
I want my mommy.
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