I've been investing myself evermore into the Youth Group I mentioned earlier. More people know me... and yet, yesterday I realized that... I am as alone as I always was.
I don't feel as if I've connected. Even after three months, I don't have any friends. I think the worst time is when people gather around to chat after the reunion is over. That's because I don't have anybody to talk to. When I attempt to start a conversation, it feels strained and awkward. I try not to externalize any of these feelings, because I don't want to be tagged as a downer.
So I feel that the original purpose of attending the Youth Group -to make new friends- has failed miserably. And yet, I think I'll keep going. Why? Because it makes me feel as if I have a chance to be a good person and be actually useful for once.
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