30

I turned 30 today. My twenties were good to me, but this next decade will make or brake my life. Setting up my business, making a name for myself, it has to happen in the next ten years.

I must admit, I'm a bit nervous, you know?



Good thing is, I'm still not too old to wrestle with balloons.

Roof Sex

I was reading the latest issue of Print magazine, and they mentioned a short film called Roof Sex, which I promptly found at YouTube. Hilarious in an oh-so-inappropriate way.

Dark Humor

I was looking up "dark humor" on the Web, and found this quote by Talula Blankhead:

"I was raped in our driveway when I was eleven.
You know darling, it was a terrible experience because we had all that gravel."

Now that's dark humor.

I need a woman. I don't need a woman

As you can infer from this post's title, I'm in a bind.

On one hand, I yearn for the sweet embrace of a female. I want to run my fingers thru her hair, hold her close, etc. You get the picture.

At the same time, I'm fully aware that now is not the time for me to be thinking about a girl. I need to invest all my time and money into getting graduated. Girls will come later.

I guess it's a no brainer, right?

I like to be called too, dammit!

I am just pissed. Nobody called me or emailed me for a whole month. Not kidding.
Not. A. Single. Person.
Man, woman, animal, vegetable or mineral. Nobody.

Ok, I'm being a bit dramatic. Sure, I got the occasional call from work ("we need this, we need that") and a couple of calls here and there, but still. You gotta admit that two or three calls in a month is really damn low.

Of course, you can be nonchalant about it, but it kinda gets to you. I mean, I'm supposed to have friends. I've gone out with these people. We've gotten drunk together. We've been hungover together. However, it seems they just don't feel the need to grab the phone and call me. Bastards.

I miss Ivy so much. She loved calling me. She called me six time a day and always was thrilled to talk to me.

More from the Car Therapy Sessions

I've mentioned Car Therapy before, but there's also a big fancy name for it: introspection. Yep, as the name suggests, it's all about looking inside oneself.

Here's something else that has emerged from gazing at my navel: I look for women who need me. Why? Because of my insecurity. If I feel needed, it placates my fear of being replaced at a moment's notice. In my mind, if you aren't needed to some degree, then your presence is nothing but the consequence of a whim. And whims are subject to change.

And that just scares the bejeesus out of me.

Being single is cool, but...

Singlehood has its good things. You can come and go as you please, you can hang around with any crowd, hit on any girl you want and you get to keep your money for yourself. You can dress as you like and you don't have to be anywhere you don't want to. Basically, you have the freedom to be as egocentric as you want.

However, I still yearn for everything that comes with a romantic relationship: the cuddling, the companionship... the whole deal.

Lots of people talk about how you should be 'complete as a person' before you try to hook up with somebody. But if Evangelion taught us anything, is that we are all incomplete beings, looking for others to fill the empty spaces in our lives. Or something like that.

Good buzz on board

I am totally pumped right now. I have to do a million things tomorrow. I may have to give up sleeping for the next four days. Might as well. I've slacked off too much. The funny thing is... I'm feeling really good.

Dunno why. I just do.

Take my birthday, for instance. A while back, I was bitching about it. But now I find myself feeling totally positive about turning 30 and starting to make all the preparations for the nice soirée me and a few friends will be having on that joyous occasion.

Talk about a 180º turn, huh?

The final crunch

This is it. I gotta finish the graduation projects. I have to hand over one on Monday and the other one on Thursday. And my vacations end on Tuesday. I'm so screwed! Oh well. This is what separates the men from the... eh... people who can't come up with a good metaphor.

Thank you Andrew

This was a Halloween like no other. I went out with a few colleagues from Culture Publishing House. I had a few issues to deal with, so hit the bottle way too fast. Less than an hour later, I was drunk. Not too drunk, but I decided to call it quits anyways. However, I didn't want to spend the remainder of the evening at home. I started calling up people and the only one who seemed promising was Drew, one of my coworkers at Lexcorp. She (yes, it's a she) is very nice and stuff, but she's a devout Christian, so I knew that there wouldn't be any frolicking involved. But that didn't bother me. I needed to talk to somebody, and she's a great listener.

We met at a local pizza place. I showed her my Latin American drug kingpin costume and she had a good laugh with it. But mainly, we talked. And boy, I needed that. To talk with somebody who wasn't related to me and who'd listen.

I had a really great time. Sometimes I wonder if Drew and I... Hey, who knows?

Time will tell.