The Church and me

Since I was a fetus in my mother's womb, I was raised a Roman Catholic, just like most kids in Kzanderallia at the time. Communion, confirmation, Hail Mary, mother of Christ and stuff like that. And it was good, it really was. I went to Mass, prayed before going to sleep. I was a good Catholic boy.

But as I grew up, I discovered some stuff about Catholicism bugged me. Banal stuff (at least they seemed that way to me at the time): Why must priests be single? Isn’t this going against human nature? And why can't there be female priests??

If you found the above comments somewhat controversial, just wait: it gets better.

Later I discovered that I also had problem with the heavier stuff: the dogmas. In case you were wondering, a dogma is a religious doctrine that is proclaimed as true without proof, like the Holy Trinity: A trinity? Isn’t it THREE GODS?? Last time we checked, we were monotheists, or has that changed? And just why is the Holy Ghost “a person”?? Why couldn’t it just be the Father and Jesus? And why did Mary have to remain untouched after giving birth to Jesus? I mean, once that was over, why couldn’t she and Joseph be a couple and have more kids?

You get the idea.

As time passed, even more questions kept piling up. During my first years in college, I had no girlfriend, so I had a lot of time to dwell on stuff like this. And I got more confused every time I started thinking about Catholisism and religion. My perspectives changed almost daily. I was adrift.

I thought a massive infussion of Christ would help me. I decided to check out The Other Side: the “separated brothers” who left the Catholic Church along with Martin Luther during the Middle Ages. They are known as Protestants, but most prefer to be called Christians.

So I hung around Christians, listened to Christian music, attended ‘cells’ (Christian youth groups) and even went to a few services. It will always amaze me the devotion this guys have. They are fully commited to their churches, and don’t flinch at the thought of three-hour services each Sunday. Three hours straight! And I felt that a 60-minute Mass was pushing it a bit.

I tried, but I just couldn’t get into the ‘WWJD’ feeling. I felt fake all the time I was there. So I dropped it.

Then I started to rebel against almost every form of organized religion. I saw every religious head as a phony who turned his followers into brainless zombie slaves, while sucking their wallets dry.

Now I should make it clear that all this furious theological rebellion pretty much existed solely within the confines of my mind, for I never acted on it. I didn’t even stop going to Mass! In retrospect, I don’t think anybody really noticed my heretic phase. It’s kinda sad, now that I think about it.

Time has passed and I have made a peace of sorts with the Church. Catholicism is not perfect, but it is the one religion I really like. I don’t think I’m 100% Catholic anymore, though, since I have decided to just believe in the things that make sense to me. A real Catholic wouldn’t do that. He would take the whole enchilada and gulp it down without hesitation, just like my mom and my granny.

So that’s me nowdays: part Catholic, part heretic, mostly moronic.

I must say, one Christian belief I never had any problems thinking about was Hell. Maybe that’s because a part of me knows one day I will be rotting in there for sure.