It's been almost three weeks after Ivy's passing. It's been harsh, but thanks to all the shows of affection and support that we've received online and offline, her family and I have been able to push on forward.
I wanted to share with you stuff that happened since she is no longer with us. Some of them are so absurd that I have no idea what to make of them.
Late scoldings: While Ivy was being put on the ground, one of her sisters thought it was the perfect time to reprimand every single member of her family right there and then on what she perceived to be poor family relations. They had to stand there and listen to her ramble on and on right there in the cemetery.
Regrets: One of Ivy's brothers-in-law asked everyone attending the funeral services that if they loved someone, they should tell them right away and make sure they know while they're alive. Great advice, but... guess why he was so adamant about it.
Recycling: Some thought it a great idea to take some of Ivy's floral arrangements over to another relative's tomb. Spread the joy.
Indecent proposals: The fact that I have been single for barely 20 days or so hasn't stopped several young ladies from making efforts in securing the vacant position. The fact that I stayed with Ivy till the very end seems to be quite attractive for some. Although quite a boost to the ol' self-esteem, I think it's too soon, gals.
Personality changes: Me and my brother-in-law didn't quite see each other eye-to-eye, but he went up to my mother and declared that he was "honored to have met a man as remarkable as your son". Who was that guy??
Virtual adoption: My parents-in-law want me to come over every night and have dinner at their house They have asked me countless times to never stray away from them. Will they kidnap me in my sleep?
Everything must go: My mother-in-law wants me to have Ivy's bed. My father-in-law wants to give me her car. Anybody else thinks it's kinda creepy to use your loved one's things while they're 6 feet under?
Color me creeped out.
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2 comments:
I still can't even really understand what this is like for you, so much bad in so little time. But you know, It makes me happy to see that ol kz humour even if its subdued under the circumstances.
My heart still goes out to you man. I hope the holidays bring a celebration of life and bright moments past, not of gloom and what if's.
peace, mate
ELB
I've seen all of these behaviors in one form or another. Most of them fade away after a while.
The cemetery scolding thing was probably awful, but I'm sure you know it was brought on by the same feelings as Ivy's brother-in-law's regrets speech.
As for the indecent proposals...yuck. Anyone coming at me at a time like that would be immediately scratched off my list of future SOs.
I wish I had some advice about her parents clinging to you the way they are. There's no good way to handle that, but it has the potential to be stifling when the day comes that you decide it's time to move forward romantically. It sounds like you're close to them, though, so maybe you can be frank with them about that future eventuality.
Gah. Stressful times. It's good to see you blogging through it, though.
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