Crash

Have you ever seen Crash?? It’s a creepy film, man. It’s about a secret community of weirdoes that get turned on whenever they’re on a car crash. These are really sick people. They take pictures of traffic accidents because it makes them hot. Even seeing crash test films makes the horny devils want to do the horizontal mambo. I don’t know what made me dislike this film. Maybe it was the man-to-man love scenes. Or maybe it was the cross-dressing. Could’ve been the cripple-sex. Truly, I am not sure.  

But now I know why the kid at the video store kept looking at me funny while I was renting it out.

I banged a lady

I was driving to my school last Friday, to return some overdue books at the library. It had been a rainy afternoon, and the traffic was bad. Then I saw the lady in front of me suddenly slowing down. I tried to brake, but the pavement was wet and the tires didn’t take hold.

It was kinda funny, actually. I was driving at around 20 kph, so it was a slow collission. It felt like the car slid for a lifetime before slamming into that lady’s rear bumper. Sort of like slow motion: S.....L.....A......M.....!!!

I got a bit shaken, but not too much. After a quick damage assesment, we knew the following:

• She was ok
• I was ok
• Her car was ok (just a banged-up bumper)
• Mine was not
  

Since my car hit the woman’s bumper with the right headlight, it got totally pushed in, along with the hood, the bumper, the grill and the front side of the car. Yeah: OUCH.

Luckily, both of us were insured, so it was a matter of waiting for the insurance guys to show up (they would eventually show up about an hour later, due to traffic).  We moved our cars to a nearby gas station to clear the way and to minimize any posibilities of having the Kzanderallian police show up. (In case you have skipped posts, they are bad news). The lady turned out to be quite nice. We even had a cup of coffee together while we waited inside the gas station. It felt kinda surreal to sit there and talk to her like we hadn’t just crashed a few minutes ago.

In short...

It’s confirmed:
Crash the movie is nothing like real life.
Traffic accidents are a total turn-off.