Enter the gringo

I have a friend called Van. He’s a fully certified gringo. Got papers and everything to prove it.  

I met him two years ago, while he was visiting my country as a tourist, and we’ve kept in contact ever since.

Two weeks ago, he dropped by on a business trip, so I went to see him at his hotel. I go up to his room and out he comes, gives me a big hug on the doorway and then SLAM! the door closed behind him. Two minutes with the guy and I already got him locked out of his room!!!

The day before he was due back, we met in Antique City, a very beautiful Kzanderallian city just 20 miles from the capital. We talked and had dinner with an Aussie girl he had just met. It was a very delightful time, specially since Van picked up the bill at the end.

Then we proceeded to stroll up and down Antique’s streets, while chatting all the time. I love talking to Van for two reasons:

• I get to practice my crummy English.
• He’s one of the most intelligent people I know, so I can bring up any subject and he can discuss it fluently.
• He’s funny as heck. (Ok, that was three reasons. I can’t count)
  

We got tired of walking, so we ended up in an Arabian-themed bar. Aussie Girl wanted to check out the place. We sat down and ordered an arguileh, which is a funky Arabic water pipe they have, filled with fruit-flavored tobacco. Four people on a nearby table were making a helluva noise, so I turned around and recognized one guy: Diego. I explained to Van and Aussie that Diego is a big male model here in Kzanderallia. Van turned to me and whispered, “Geez, look at their socks!!”. One of the guys and one of the girls of Diego’s group had exchanged footware, so each had a white sock and a cyan sock. It was hilarious. Oh, the glamour of the fashion crowd.

After a while of sipping the arguileh, we got tipsy and started talking out loud and acting like big clowns. Diego and his comrades found us unsettling, so they left to find a more refined establishment. The waiter was also displeased at us, and was extremely rude. So we got out as well.

All the way back to his hotel, Van kept glancing at the ads on the street. Whenever he saw one with male models on it, he stopped cold and asked out loud, “Wait. IS THAT DIEGO??”

How can you not love a guy like that?