In case you didn’t know, Fido-sophy is a term coined by the 7UP Company, and it basically refers to some superficial, non-compromising, quick-fix, clichéd way of living life, like:
- It’s cool to be yourself
- Normal is boring
- You are who you are and who you are is OK.
- Dare to be different
- Life is short, live it.
The contest seemed easy enough, so I decided to give it a try.
I must say, the drawing was the easy part. Coming up with some sufficiently simplistic, thoroughly bland bit of doctrine was tougher. Took me hours. I ended up with ‘Live life at your own beat’. Not so bad, huh?
So I handed out my work and the wait started. Then, on the day of the awards, I get this call at work. It’s the Fido Contest people and they tell me I am amongst the 10 finalists. SWEET!!
I arrived at the place with my parents and my girlfriend on tow. The award ceremony was held at a place called ‘Fido’s Place’, and it’s a third-floor loft splattered with Fido stuff all over. There’s Fido murals, Fido floor motifs, there’s even a Fido statue, life-size. And of course, all the contestants’ work was displayed in big panels.
I wanted to take pictures of everything, but my camera was at the shop. Unfortunately, it remains true that if I ever neglect to bring a camera, nobody else brings one. And so, no photos were taken on my behalf, which made the photomaniac in me very upset. My only hope are the news photographers that were fluttering all over.
I check out the rest of the contest entries. Some are really bad, but some are REALLY good. I’m a nervous wreck.
The event starts about fifty minutes late. We have been some free 7UP, but no amount of soda can make you forget the fact that you’ve been waiting in line for about an hour.
As expected, the whole ceremony is a big 7UP commercial: people from the advertising company step up, and show us some TV ads. The they proceed to talk about Fido, about how he started, what his personality is like, etc, etc. At one moment, they bring out Fido’s creator, Johanna Ferrone. She tells us how thrilled she is that Fido got picked up again as the 7UP spokesperson. “Fido and I have been together for 20 years”, she said. “That’s the longest relationship I’ve ever had.” She’s funny and sweet, but she is grossly mistranslated. Those of us who speak English can only quiver at the things Ferrone’s interpreter is saying.
Finally, the awards are given out. They begin with the Honorable Mentions. They call out a couple of guys, then me. Although deeply disappointed, I put up a brave face and step up. They give a fantabulous piece of cardboard with my name scribbled on it. And Johanna Ferrone says some vague kind words about my drawing. She’s so nice, she can’t be a real New Yorker. No way.
I was feeling kinda OK at this point. I hadn’t won, but at least I had beat about 50 competitors. My folks and my girl are proud of me. Then... they call the next Honorable Mention winner. It’s an 8-year-old kid!!! Apparently, the jurors were impressed by the fact that someone so young would want to participate. Plus, he wrote a very moving letter declaring his love of Fido. That’s all fine and good, but what this means is that I’m drawing at third grade level!! At least I don’t eat my crayons anymore. Not so much, anyway.
A while later, the other awards are called out. These are the big guns: they get cash prizes and their designs get slapped on billboards and bus-stop signs. And the ceremony is over. We are cordially invited to vacate the premises.
It’s a big pill to swallow, pride. You see, I was so sure I had a chance at third place... I had even spent all the award money in my head! Thankfully, my girlfriend was there to hug me tight, give me a big kiss and nurse my wounded ego back to health.
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